barely out of tuesday

I had forgotten how hard it is to leave, to say goodbye, and how much I hate packing up my life into two suitcases (leaving Star is so much easier because I don't have that stress). It didn't hit me until this evening when I was packing; this afternoon I was enjoying the beautiful and unseasonal weather as I did some last minute shopping in town, and I knew it would be the last I see of that city for a very long time and so I took pictures to document it but I didn't feel it. Now the only reason I'm not feeling "the end" is because I won't let myself; if I did, I would be unable to concentrate on the necessary packing (which I can't do anyway but I'll somehow get it done).

I made new friends last night—bad timing on my part, really. Knowing you're leaving and may never see people again is very liberating, but sad when you meet people you do want to see again. But, so it is. I feel like that's kind of been the story of my life for the past week.

For fire måneder siden, I arrived in this country, exhausted and overwhelmed. In that time, I've learned a bit of a language and a lot of the culture, particularly the political culture. As Jacob said, "we now think like Danes." I haven't found the answers I was looking for, but I understand the way the world, and certain states and cultures, work a little better now. I have a sense of the differences and the whys and the consequences. I have a deeper understanding of racism, particularly as it pertains to a European context. I have a greater appreciation for my own traditions, and a new perspective on my rights. I have more respect for respect. Et cetera, et cetera.

Here I am, again exhausted and overwhelmed, though not quite as much, about to return to the land of the free and the home of the brave, where everything is so much bigger and busier. But I know an old mantra, that I've never failed to stick to, which makes leaving easier: I will come back. I will come back. I will come back. It's not quite sacred ground, but here, in the gentle arms of familien Nissen, jeg er hjemme.